Photo by Luis Dalvan courtesy of Pexels.

If you get divinely and miraculously healed, is this part of your karma? Yes. Miraculously you are healed. Maybe you deserved it. God helped you to heal. You have done some good karma to receive that kind of healing energy. But if you haven’t healed and if you want to get healed, you can still create that karma. It’s never too late.

Suppose you are still not well and you want to get healed and there is no miracle happening. You don’t have to get depressed. Instead realize that maybe, yes, I didn’t do good karma before. But, I’ll do it now and I will have faith it will come.” Yes, have that confidence and do it, and you will be healed.

What is the best way to pray for someone else who is sick? Should you use your energy to visualize the person as a whole or just pray that God’s Will should be done with that person? You can do both. You can visualize that person. Imagine that you are sending your good thoughts, healthy thoughts, to that person. Certainly it will reach the person. And, at the same time, you can pray to God and say, “This is what I can do. This is what I would like to do. But, it is not my energy I am sending to that person. I am receiving it from You and passing it on to that person because my energy may be very little. So, I am receiving Your energy and passing it on.”

That’s the best way of praying for somebody. Otherwise, you may pray, and if that somebody gets well then there is a sort of mild, subtle ego that can develop in you: “Oh, look at that! I prayed and they got well!” Then you will want them to be your witness: “See, here is the power of my prayer!” However, that other person may get well, but, by your own egoism, you may fall sick. So beware of that.

Always be humble and say, “God, Thy Will be done. You can pray and say to God, “This person’s illness came to my notice and I feel like praying for that person. I cannot demand and command You to heal that person, but I can request You to please do so. But I know that You are not just going to do it because I request that of You. I am showing my concern, that’s all. So I am doing my part. If that is also Your Will, may it happen.” That way you keep yourself safe.

By Sri Swami Satchidananda

The post Healing, Karma, and Divine Grace: The Power of Prayer and Surrender appeared first on Integral Yoga® Magazine.

Illustration: Fixed point at top of pendulum during swinging motion.

When you watch the thoughts passing through your mind by being the witness rather than getting caught up in them, is this the same as what is meant by the expression, “Offering it up to God?” Yes, you can look at it in this way. One approach is what we can call the “Jnana Yoga approach” in which you recognize your Self as the witness of all the coming and going. The other approach is the “Bhakti Yoga approach” in which you offer whatever comes and goes to God. Ultimately, they both lead to the same goal of enabling you to remain unaffected by all that changes, all that comes and goes. When we identify with the ever-changing or look for happiness in these things we suffer.

So, in Jnana Yoga, you identify yourself to be a witness and you watch what comes and goes. The other approach is that you offer everything to God rather than taking it as your own. You don’t make it yours. That’s why we hear the prayer, “I am Thine, all is Thine, Thy Will be done.” Then, whether Jnana or Bhakti you are no longer the “doer.” You are the Be-er. That’s why I always say, “Leave it to Be-er.”  When things come, you can feel, “I am offering it.” You pass it on, you become a conveyor belt, and that way you remain always balanced

Think of it like the silver screen, a movie screen, on which various images of the movie appear.  The images may be those of a war story, a wedding story, or a crime story. Whatever the story is the screen doesn’t get affected, it simply is there, watching the movie. Shadows are cast on the movie screen and then they go away. Life is like this—so many shadows, images, dramas come and go but what remains the same? The witness—the one who is always aware of the coming and going. That is what you call the pure you or the true Self.

You simply know things and even your own thoughts and feelings. You even say, “My thoughts come and go.” How do you know that? “Well, I was all happy yesterday. Today I am a little down and I know I will be all right tomorrow.” See?  Because you seem to know the thoughts and feelings are coming and going that means you are the knower, you are not the thoughts. You knew you were happy yesterday and you know that you are unhappy now and you know you will be happy again tomorrow.  What is common here? Your knowing. You know you were happy. You know you are unhappy. You know you will feel alright again.  So the knowing never became happy and unhappy and the knowing is always the common thing. You are the knower, a pure silver screen. The unhappy thoughts and the happy thoughts of the mind simply cast a shadow on the screen, then roll on. Nothing ever stays there on the screen and just like the movie screen, when you recognize this, you won’t get affected by whatever comes and goes.

And that recognition of who you essentially are as the unchanging Self is the secret to lasting peace and happiness. The real you is never unhappy, sad, anxious, elated, and so on. All those feelings come and go. Who are you, then? You are the true witness, the real knower. That’s why you always say, “I know this, I know that.

When the mind does some mischief, it suffers. But you should not suffer, the real you. As a witness you can say to your mind and body, “I saw you gobbling up everything whether you were hungry or not yesterday. Now you complain, ‘Oh, I have a little stomachache.’ You can say, “Sorry, I am simply watching. I am sure you will be alright tomorrow once your stomach gets settled.” You can be sympathetic and feel compassion for the mind and body and, in this way, you don’t get affected by whatever arises.

This understanding and recognition of your True Nature can also be cultivated during meditation. When you sit to meditate, just watch the mind. Often, the mind doesn’t stay focused but just runs here and there. That’s the best opportunity to watch the show! Watch how thoughts arise, feelings arise, and then they go. You can observe the nature of the mind which is to be constantly moving here and there. As you become more aware of this and focus your mind on your mantra or breath, gradually the thoughts will begin to settle.

You will also be learning to not involve yourself in the thoughts or feelings that arise and that will also help them to quiet down from lack of attention. As you do this more and more in meditation, you can begin to do the same throughout your day so that the thoughts and feelings that once were experienced as disturbing the mind lose their ability to do that. Instead, you will remember more and more that you are the unchanging one. It’s something similar to how a pendulum functions: You remain like the fixed part connected at the top and then you can enjoy the movement of the pendulum as it swings right and left. Life is for enjoyment and the best enjoyment comes to the one who knows how to remain balanced in the midst of the ever-changing.

By Sri Swami Satchidananda

The post Life’s Pendulum: Balance Amid Change appeared first on Integral Yoga® Magazine.

“When we walk with faith we’re never alone. We trust there’s a Higher Power always with us.” In this satsang talk, presented by Integral Yoga TV, Swami Karunananda, senior monk and teacher trainer, speaks on the subject of faith. She also shares amazing stories from her life as a disciple of Swami Satchidananda and student of Integral Yoga.

Watch here.

The post Walking with Faith appeared first on Integral Yoga® Magazine.

VedantaWorks

Over the last two years, VedantaWorks has produced podcasts of Swami Vivekananda’s Jnana Yoga and Bhakti Yoga classes given in New York City in 1895-1896. Their podcasts are available at no cost on all major platforms, including YouTube.

Available as Podcasts: The complete Jnana Yoga and Bhakti Yoga classes of Swami Vivekananda given in New York City in 1895-96, are now available as podcasts in chronological order. Narrated by Varun Narayan. with kind permission by the publisher Advaita Ashrama.

Swami Vivekananda: Jnana Yoga on Google Podcasts

Swami Vivekananda: Jnana Yoga on Amazon Podcasts

Swami Vivekananda: Jnana Yoga on Apple Podcasts

Swami Vivekananda: Jnana Yoga | Podcast on Spotify

Swami Vivekananda: Jnana Yoga on Youtube

Swami Vivekananda: Bhakti Yoga on Google Podcasts

Swami Vivekananda: Bhakti Yoga on Amazon Podcasts

Swami Vivekananda: Bhakti Yoga on Apple Podcasts

Swami Vivekananda: Bhakti Yoga on Spotify

Swami Vivekananda: Bhakti Yoga on YouTube

The post VedantaWorks: The Teachings of Swami Vivekananda appeared first on Integral Yoga® Magazine.

Integral Yoga Media is please to offer the newly mastered audio recording “Swami Satchidananda Teaches the Pūjā Ślokas.” These prayers are used in daily pūjā, a service of devotion. At Chidambaram (the Mahasamadhi Shrine of Sri Swamiji), the pūjā is offered to the Sivalingam (according to Tamil Saiva tradition, Sri Swamiji’s root tradition). In Sanskrit, Siva means “auspiciousness,” and lingam means “sign” or “symbol.” The Sivalingam symbolizes the Absolute God, the nameless and formless One. 

Devotees who would like to offer pūjā, may now learn directly from Sri Swamiji how to pronounce the ślokas chanted during the Chidambaram Pūjā. The recording features Sri Swamiji pronouncing each Sanskrit word and then the entire śloka several times so that devotees can learn along with the recording. The text of the ślokas also accompanies the recording.

The post Swami Satchidananda Teaches the Pūjā Ślokas appeared first on Integral Yoga® Magazine.

In this episode of the Integral Yoga Podcast, host Avi Gordon (director of the Integral Yoga Teachers Association) discusses with Amma Kidd the significance of collective prayer, the transformative influence of a Guru, surrendering to God’s will, and the interconnectedness of all creation. Amma emphasizes the importance of going within and always rising above. Amma Kidd is a former secretary to and long-time devotee of Swami Satchidananda, and a beloved pillar of love and faith in the Yogaville community.

The post Go Within appeared first on Integral Yoga® Magazine.

There is also an inspiring series of instructional pujas from the classical tradition in India offered with an intro here.

The post Navaratri Pujas! appeared first on Integral Yoga® Magazine.

Sri Swami Satchidananda entered Mahasamadhi on 19 August 2002 in South India. When a saint or sage leaves their body and is capable of remaining in a superconscious state without the body, it is called Mahasamadhi. Such spiritual masters are in a state of Mahasamadhi, (i.e., a continued state of samadhi even after leaving the body). For them, death is not a process of total annihilation but only a discarding of the body, which they had been occupying to carry on certain duties toward humanity.

What we learn from the sacred text, Sri Guru Gita (all translations of verses cited here courtesy of Christopher Hareesh Wallis, PhD) is that the Satguru is one who is carrying out a universal divine role. Such a Guru is an access point to the infinite flow of wisdom energy that comes through lineage. This is also known as the “Guru-tattva,” or Guru Principle. If an aspirant’s longing and devotion for the Truth is sufficiently strong and pure enough, they open an access point to the flow of wisdom.

Verse 10 of the Sri Guru Gita explains:

Gūḍhavidyā jaganmāyā dehe cājñāna-sambhavā |
Udayaḥ yatprakāśena guru-śabdena kathyate ||10||

“In the body there lives both hidden wisdom and powerful delusion born of ignorance. The one whose illuminating teaching causes [the hidden wisdom] to surge up within is designated by the word ‘Guru.’”

The one by whose Grace that wisdom is accessed is known as “Guru.” And the sole dharma of the Satguru is to lead the disciple to the inner Guru. Swami Satchidananda often explained that the function of the outer Guru is to introduce the disciple to the inner wisdom, the inner Guru which enables you recognize to recognize your own essential nature.

Gukāraṁ ca guṇātītaṁ rukāraṁ rūpavarjitam|
Guṇātīta svarūpaṁ ca yo dadyātsa guruh ̣ smṛtah|̣ |46||

“The syllable ‘gu’ transcends the gunas; the syllable ‘ru’ is free from form or appearance (rūpa). The Guru is said to be the one who grants [access to] the essence-nature that transcends the gunas.”

As Dr. Wallis describes in his commentary on Sri Guru Gita: “If the Guru successfully points this out, and there is recognition, then you have access to this inner Guru. This is lineage transmission. The sadhana of Sri Guru Gita teaches the disciple how to relate to the external Guru in such a way that it maximizes the transmission and cultivates the inner Guru.”

The Integral Yoga sangha offers our deepest and infinite love, reverence, and gratitude to our Satguru, Sri Swami Satchidananda, on this milestone anniversary of the Mahasamadhi. May Sri Gurudev’s abundant blessings continue to enable all of his disciples and devotees to even more fully open the door to the flow of Grace that makes total spiritual awakening possible.

Yasya smaranạ mātreṇa jñānamn utpadyate svayam|
Ya eva sarva samprāptiḥ tasmai śrī gurave namaḥ |̣ |69||

“Salutations to the Blessed Guru who is all-attainments and by merely remembering whom, wisdom rises spontaneously.”

We repeat the following verse from the Sri Guru Gita daily during morning meditation at Satchidananda Ashram–Yogaville. It so beautifully expresses the gratitude we feel to our Beloved Gurudev for his teachings, as we  re-dedicate ourselves to our sadhana each day:

Brahmānandaṁ parama sukhadaṁ kevalaṁ jñāna mūrtiṁ
dvandvātītaṁ gaganasadṛśaṁ tat tvam asyādilakṣyam|
Ekaṁ nityaṁ vimalamacalaṁ sarva dhīsākṣi bhūtaṁ
bhāvātītaṁ triguṇarahitaṁ sadguruṁ taṁ namāmi||89||

“I bow to that true Teacher (Satguru) who is all these things: the bliss of the Absolute, who bestows Supreme Happiness, and whose form is nothing but insight (that comes from the Satguru and arises in you as a result of successful sadhana). “This enlightened insight transcends and subsumes all pairs of opposites and it is like the sky (expansive). The Satguru is the object of sayings such as Tat Tvam Asi (“that’s how you are;” and others in the Upanishads). This Satguru is One, singular (there’s only one Guru-tattva—the transmission of awakened awareness that comes to us from lineage). The Guru is steady and the witness of all thoughts/intellection. This Guru is also beyond all mental/emotional states and free of the three gunas.” May we recognize and express our divine nature in every moment. Om Shanti.

Om Aim Paramashivarūpāya Shrīgurave Satchidānandaya Namah!

The post A Tribute to Sri Swami Satchidananda on the 20th Mahasamadhi Anniversary appeared first on Integral Yoga® Magazine.

Friday night
Mantra Music Concert 

The weekend program begins with an evening of interactive, soul-stirring ancient mantras given new voice through dynamic songs that merge conscious lyrics and New Orleans roots, rock, gospel, and world grooves.

The event also celebrates the release of the band’s new album Mystery. Their last album Unity debuted #1 on the iTunes World Music Chart and #3 on Billboard. The band’s songs have appeared on Putumayo World Music, and they are the first mantra-based band to ever play The New Orleans Jazz Festival.

Saturday morning
Brigid’s Flame: Live Music Flow 

Learn about the inspiring Celtic goddess and saint Brigid and invoke her archetypal power within you. This imaginative vinyasa Yoga practice weaves Yoga and Celtic spirituality, a nature based way of being that invites us to be our authentic selves and to live from the heart. Brigid represents the flame within us to nurture, heal, and protect, which we will ignite and kindle throughout the practice.

Saturday afternoon
Story Time: Mystery, Romance, and Crazy Wisdom 

Dive deep into the playful, mythic world of Yoga. Relax your mind, laugh, cry, and unpack some inner wisdom. Seán believes that Yoga teachers can be modern day bards who help us remember who we are through storytelling. He puts a fun, deep, contemporary spin on inspirational tales from the lore of Yoga to bring the stories to life in your own heart. Each tale will be accompanied by the enchanting sounds of The Wild Lotus Band. You’ll have the option to journal and explore what the stories mean to you through intuitive art. Bring a journal and markers or crayons.

Saturday night
Mantra Music Concert

End the day with another evening of interactive, soul-stirring ancient mantras given a new voice through dynamic songs that merge conscious lyrics and New Orleans roots, rock, gospel, and world grooves. The band will play a completely different set of music from Friday night.

Sunday morning
Sanctuary: Deep Peace—Chanting and Live Music Chill Out 

Indulge yourself, relax, and recharge with this mellow, all levels practice guided by Seán and supported by the soothing live sounds of the band. The class includes serene lullabies and chants to support deep calm and rest. More info here.

The post A Weekend of Music, Mantra & Magic: August 2022 appeared first on Integral Yoga® Magazine.

Photo: Sri Ramakrishna and Swami Vivekananda

A questioner asks: Swamiji, what about Gurus like Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa? We read that he touched his disciple Swami Vivekananda and Vivekananda had a spiritual experience. Was Vivekananda just opening up something from within himself or did Sri Ramakrishna really transmit something?

Swami Satchidananda replies: Yes, he did transmit something. But if you read further in the same story, Vivekanandaji could not retain the experience. Sri Ramakrishna just gave him a little nibble. Then he said, “Don’t depend on my touch every time. Now you know there is something beyond; work it out yourself.” Then it took many years for Vivekanandaji to get that experience again.

Sri Ramakrishna gave even that little experience to him because Vivekananda was fit for it. Still, he said, “This is borrowed. I’m giving you a sample.” It’s something like if I am eating some nice candy and you come along and say, “Hey, what is that?” “Candy.” “Ah, can I try some?” “Okay, a little piece.” “Ah, it’s so nice. Where can I get some more?” “Go, work, earn money, go to the shop and buy it.” I just gave you a taste; then you have to work for it.

Sri Ramakrishna had several thousand disciples but he didn’t give all of them even that little taste Vivekanandaji got. So the student should have the proper qualifications for such an experience. Otherwise, if it is just that easy, Ramakrishna could have just touched everybody and said, “Come on, everybody is a Ramakrishna now.” He was not really stingy. He could have done that to a thousand people. Why should he do it to only one, Vivekanandaji? That is the proof that there are certain qualifications necessary even to perceive something like that. Otherwise, you would be depending on an outside Guru always. Then they are not really helping you; they are probably making some business out of you or making you dependent on them for some reason. Whenever and wherever possible they should point out that you have it all within yourself already.

It’s like the example of someone who buys a new piece of gold jewelry—a necklace or gold chain. They put on the jewelry and then forget about it. All of a sudden they remember, “Hey, I bought some new jewelry, but I don’t remember where I put it.” They run around searching for it in a panic. “Where is my necklace?” they wonder. The jewelry is around their neck but they can’t see it! All of a sudden they come across a mirror. “Ah, there it is!” Then they stop running around and searching because they know they have it on.

The Guru’s duty is just to show you that you have that gold piece already—the golden peace that is in you, as you. That’s it. They are not going to “give” you peace or enlightenment; they cannot. They will just tell you that you have it already and help you to recognize it.

The scriptures say that there are three aids to realize the Truth: the scriptures themselves, the Guru and your spiritual practice. The scriptures tell you that sugar is sweet. The Guru will show you that sugar. Your practice will give you the taste. The Guru will not put the sugar in their mouth and say, “It is very sweet.” You have to taste it yourself. Even if you open your mouth and they put the sugar in, if your tongue is totally coated, you can’t taste it. It will be bitter to you. So you have to clean your tastebuds. That is the reason we say the disciple must be fit to know the taste.

How many people were able to perceive Jesus Christ when he ascended? Only the very few who really had that faith and devotion. So it needs a lot of sincerity, purity of heart and devotion to get a little glimpse. And even then, that just becomes a kind of small incentive to work with. So this explains a little about both the Guru outside and the one within. And, ultimately, know that they are one and the same.

~Excerpted from The Guru Within by Sri Swami Satchidananda

The post Gurus and Spiritual Experiences appeared first on Integral Yoga® Magazine.

Watercolor painting on cotton fabric by Manohar Saini of Kishangarh. Available from ExoticIndiaArt.com

Sri Guru Gita is a compilation of verses dedicated to the veneration of the Guru—both one’s embodied Guru, as well as the Guru-tattva or Guru Principle. Many devotees repeat the entire Gita daily, though some repeat it yearly during the annual Guru Poornima (July full moon) celebration in order to attain the Grace of the Guru.

The origin of this sacred text is not fully known. It is a divine dialogue between Lord Siva and Goddess Parvathi at their abode on Mount Kailash, high in the Himalayas—in which they discuss the nature of Reality for devotees’ benefit. Parvati, surprised to see Siva prostrating to a Satguru, asks Siva to explain this devotion and His humility. Lord Siva explains that the Guru is a realized, enlightened soul and, in essence, Guru, God, and the inner Self of all are one. The Guru’s life is full of dedication and selfless service. It is the Guru who illuminates the spiritual path, removes the darkness, and teaches one how to know the Self.

Hareesh Christopher Wallis, PhD, Sanskrit scholar and Nondual Saiva Tantra expert, gives this overview of the history of the text:

“This text originated in Maharashtra, India. The Sri Guru Charitra (a text from around 1550 in Marathi language) contains, in its 49^th chapter, the Sri Guru Gita in Sanskrit. Some scholars believe it was inserted in this text and is actually older, but its exact origins are largely unknown. It was most probably compiled from various sources by someone who gathered the “best” verses from various sources on the Guru. It was then added into Sri Guru Charitra because it has verses that go back to earlier texts.

“The verses were extracted from Saiva Tantra sources and mixed with elements of Bhakti Yoga and Vedanta. This is a kind of container into which the text is laid. That container is one in which we are told the seer, the meter, the mantra, and the visualization verse. The sage Suta is the bard of Sri Guru Gita and these teachings it contains come from oral transmission originally. Mantra Purusha practice (installing the 50 phenomes of Sanskrit in your body) and installing the Creator Deities in the chakras is suggested by the verse.

Sri Dattatreya, with his Gurus. Artwork by Erik Jacobsen.

“The connection of Sri Guru Gita to the Dattatreya lineage is very strong. Sri Dattatreya, is depicted as having three heads: Brahma, Vishnu and Siva. He is a composite deity of the Hindu tradition and considered to be the primordial Guru. He is said to have had Nature—in 24 aspects or forms—as his Guru.”

“Sri Guru Gita opens with a dhyana sloka or visualization verse that tells you how to meditate upon or visualize a specific deity. As Dr. Wallis explains: “The dhyana sloka is one that describes the Guru-tattva and not a physical Guru. It tells us how to meditate on the Guru-tattva, the principle of Guru. What is the Guru-tattva? That which brings you from darkness to light, including all your teachers and all that teaches you. In other words, whatever facilitates the spiritual process that moves us from the darkness of ignorance to light of wisdom is the Guru-tattva.”

The Dhyana Sloka:

Haṁsābhyāṁ parivṛtta-patra-kamalair divyair jagat-kāraṇair
viśvotkīrṇam aneka-deha-nilayaiḥ svacchandam ātmecchayā |
Tad-dyotaṁ pada-śāmbhavaṁ tu caraṇaṁ dīpāṅkura-grāhiṇaṁ
pratyakṣākṣara-vigrahaṁ guru-padaṁ dhyāyed vibhuṁ śāśvatam ||

Dr. Wallis translated the dhyana sloka below, followed by his commentary:

“One should meditate on the eternal all-pervasive state of the Guru, which is the embodiment of all the sacred sounds [of Sanskrit, the 50 sounds, the vibrational building blocks of the universe] in visible form. One should meditate on the [form of] practice and conduct which holds ‘the flame of the lamp,’ that is, the Śāmbhava state which illumines that spontaneous freedom (svacchanda) which is inscribed in everything in existence by the divine Causes of the World that have all bodies as their abode, and which are [installed within] the ‘lotuses’ (i.e. chakras) whose petals are rotated by ‘ham’ and saḥ.’ One should meditate on the Feet of the Guru.”

Commentary:

“Why should we meditate upon the Feet of the Guru? Because Anugraha, Grace, flows through the Feet. This sloka tells us that we should meditate on the state of the Guru. What is the state? It’s eternal and all-pervasive. We are not talking about a physical teacher, but the imperishable embodiment (pratyakṣākṣara-vigrahaṁ ) of the world/universe before our very eyes.

“The state of the Guru is the embodiment of all the phonemes (building blocks of reality itself) in visible form. One should meditate on the form of practice and conduct which holds the flame (the innermost self, atman) of the lamp (that which is the container for the essence-nature). This is pointing to our way of being in the world, which holds the flame of the lamp. Ask yourself: What form of practice and conduct leads to the Divine State? This state is the Śāmbhava state, the Divine state of Siva, the full awakeness that is the goal of the yogic path.”

Let us meditate on the activity of the Guru. Let us immerse fully in the teachings of the Guru because these hold the flame of the lamp that conveys the Śāmbhava state, the Divine state of radical freedom within every aspect of our very Being and existence. May the Grace of the Guru illuminate our paths. Jai Gurudev!

The post A Brief History of Sri Guru Gita appeared first on Integral Yoga® Magazine.

Photo: The tree with Gita in tree pose!

The howl of a nor’easter blew against my house and rattled the windows. A rifle-like crack, roaring whoosh, and an earth-shaking thud shocked me fully awake. I assumed another tree had fallen. Finally, night gave way to grey dawn and I huddled around my coffee mug in the kitchen.

I looked out of the window as rain lashed the deck. The tangled corpse of a fallen Eastern White Pine lay across the garden. Ten feet to the west and it would have crushed the house. The coral heads of dahlias peeked out from under the fallen limbs. Nature kept dancing—the dying tree, the defiant dahlias, the swirling winds—a cycle of creation, destruction, and resurrection that I was helpless to control.

It was almost Halloween in New England. The storm left boats washed up on shore, a half a million without power, and kids reveling in days without school. The gulf stream in Mexico had ridden up the coast. But as the warm air traveled north it had smacked into the frozen hand of the Canadian jet stream. The clash between the two extremes was so unstable that the gulf stream was sucked farther northwards, only to be whipped back down where it unleashed the energy of high winds and torrential rains on our coast. The storm was a collision of forces that spanned thousands of miles of land, ocean, and atmosphere.

I love to geek-out and study storms; scientific understanding is interesting but it also boggles my mind how humans used to deal with these storms with little to no warning. The parsing of weather cycles into science lingo is like a daily moveable map that leads us into deeper intellectual—and action-oriented—understanding. But when faced with the apparent cruelty of Mother Nature the scientific map bends around our feet, having only delivered us to a closed door. Our intellect is only as strong as our willingness to admit its limitation.

At that moment—with all precautions completed yet with winds still howling and the house shaking in the dark night—we are left with no choice but to drop the map, open our inner door, and go within. Perhaps at these moments we seek something like faith.

By Thanksgiving I finally had help over to chainsaw the tree and cart it into the woods. It had crushed a cold frame, knocked pathway pavers on end, and left deep holes where branches lanced the earth. During winter snow and ice covered the damage; but finally, spring arrived.

Photo: A river of daffodils in Gita’s garden.

One April morning I stood at the back door and sipped coffee. On the slope where the tree had fallen a river of daffodils now waved in the breeze. Fuzzy grey leaves on the lavender uncoiled like tiny springs and the old-fashioned bleeding heart—dicentra spectabilis—arched like a pink waterfall. I wrapped my hand around my mug and stepped out onto the deck.

I used to think of my garden as a place of peace and beauty. But while that is certainly true; wrestling weeds, dealing with rabbit-eaten lettuce, and hauling fallen trees has taught me that my garden is more like a battle ground for my soul. It is a place to confront my illusions about my ability to control life. Putting my faith solely in the peace and beauty of the garden was a rose-colored glasses strategy that avoided my blindspot; my fear of death. Insisting that nature only produce beauty was a fool’s game. Experiencing beauty is only possible when we dance with the tension of inevitable death.

I took a sip of coffee and inhaled the fresh dew. I turned to look at an enormous pine at the edge of the garden. At sixty feet tall her highest needles were tousled in the wind. I had thought the whole Eastern White Pine had fallen; but it was only one branch of this mighty being. I wondered if she would fall again. Should I have faith she wouldn’t fall, or that I could follow the science and prepare to avoid it, or should I just have faith that I could handle it either way?

But perhaps faith in an event, person, or specific thing is antithetical to faith, itself. Faith asks that we radically discharge our expectations from needing the world to behave in a certain way. To have faith in something—science, God, your ability to create a beautiful garden—is to mock faith with neediness. Rather, faith is the act of drawing breath in the face of the incomprehensible universe. Faith really only appears when we shrug, smile, and say, “Well, I dunno. But I’m here so let’s get on with it.”

I set my coffee cup down on the deck table and made my way into the middle of the cheery daffodils. “Hello, ladies,” I said as I bent to inhale their sweetness. Sometimes faith is just the act of breathing and dancing with the cycle of creation, death, and resurrection. The daffodils nodded as I turned back to the house and got on with my day.

About the Author:

Gita Brown is a wellness activist, musician, and writer. She is a certified Advanced Integral Yoga®  teacher and licensed Yoga for the Special Child® practitioner. Through her “Yoga with Gita courses” and podcast, “The Gita Brown Show,” her mission is to teach her students how to adapt the traditional practices of Yoga to bring more ease, wellness, and joy into everyday life. Gita started Yoga as a teenager, when her love of Yoga grew in tandem with her career as a classical clarinetist and music therapist. For three decades, she has taught Yoga, wellness, and music courses at colleges, schools of music, community schools, private studios, public schools, and hospitals. She is currently finishing final revisions to her memoir. The story is about how she repurposed her wedding vows into a yogic vow to live love as a way of life—a pilgrimage that endured even as her husband and childhood sweetheart battled end-stage alcoholism. She offers Yoga to students of all ages and abilities through online programs and in person at her home studio at Three Dog Farm in Kingston, Massachusetts. Learn more about her services by visiting:  https://www.gitabrown.com

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